The Top 69 worst Boner Killers

Have you ever seen or heard something that made your manhood turn from iron man into a limp noodle? It’s happened to everyone and it’s the worst. Here’s a list of the 69 worst boner killers of all time. Feel free to add your own in the comments section, like, and share with your friends via social media. PS follow us on twitter @TopLists69

1) Honey Boo Boo’s mom

2) Salmon spawning

3) All the ladies from Sex in the City

4) Chihuahuas

5) Orange juice after brushing your teeth

6) Any evil old lady from a disney cartoon

7) A stray pube on a urinal

8) An extremely smelly fart that wakes the dead

9) Wearing a full diaper

10) My little pony

11) Fat guy little coat

12) Jeggings

13) Talking about the time of the month and anything associated with that

14) Powdered wigs

15) Cat pee

16) Centipedes

17) Anal Leakage

18) A sneeze during fellatio

19) Vomit

20) Chris Bosh

21) That weird smell in the subway

22) The taste of a subway sandwich (doesn’t arouse me in the slightest)

23) A book that doesn’t mention boobies

24) Slugs

25) Di-Di from Rugrats (That’s Tommy’s mom)

26) Ice cream on your junk

27) The Paper clip guy that used to pop up when writing something on Word

28) Renee Zellweger

29) Under the Tuscan Sun (omg it’s so bad)

30) Fat Bastard from Austin Powers

31) Breadcrumbs in the bed

32) Puppy Farts

33) Grandmas

34) Squidward from Spongebob

35) Anything involving unicycles

36) Tentical hentai (Why would you want to fuck an octopus?)

37) Lemon Party

38) A Waynes Brother’s movie

39) Old people chins

40) Huge pimples that people pretend aren’t on their face because they’re afraid to pop them so the rest of us have to suffer

41) John Lackey

42) Glue

43) Everything about Glee

44) Tape dispensers

45) Lumberjacks

46) Cats the musical

47) Fantasia from American Idol

48) Banjo music

49) Naked Mole Rats

50) The Wiggles

51) Suspenders

52) Portapotties

53) Dinosaurs (Not even a little bit)

54) The noise that modems used to make when connecting to the internet

55) Direct to video Disney squeals

56) Meryl Streep (Wonderful actress tho)

57) The guy who played Augustus Filtch in Harry Potter

58) Ostriches

59) Grape cough medicine

60) Miss Piggy

61) Paper Cuts

62) Diarrhea

63) Being in an area with no wi-fi or 3G

64) Jim Rome

65) Wet sand down below (yuck)

66) Sharks

67) Crop dusting

68) School librarian

69) Julia Child

 

69 Ways you can make money without getting off your ass

Are you lazy? Do you like money? Would you prefer to sit in a chair than not? Does the thought of hard labor scare you like a frightened chipmunk? Well, here are some ways you can make some money while sitting on your butt. Please add your own ideas in the comment section, like, and share with your friends. If you don’t you’ll kill a kitty. No pressure.

1) On-line Poker Champion

2) Food tester for royalty

3) Start juggling dangerous objects

4) Mall Santa

5) Swallow a bunch of hot dogs quickly

6) Toilet Quality Assurance

7) Date Taylor Swift, break up, wait for her to write a song about you, collect royalties

8) Philosopher

9) Guinea pig Breeder

10) Hipster Scarf Knitter (Their trendy necks get cold)

11) Erotic Novelist

12) Sell a Kidney

13) Oddly scented candle maker

14) Professional psychic

15) Shoe lace applicator

16) Be an annoying person on youtube

17) Bean Bag tester

18) Professional Quidditch Scout

19) Extract DNA from mosquitoes to breed dinosaurs

20) Hack into Facebook and add a dislike button on all attention whoring people’s posts

21) Carve sticks into wands and sell on ebay

22) Train carrier pigeon to drop sharp objects onto Justin Beiber’s head and demand ransom

23) Phone Sex operator

24) Phone Sex complaint department

25) Build doomsday device and sell to evil super villain

26) Clean between the folds of wrinkly dogs

27) Mail in sperm donor

28) Write episodes of Dora the Explorer

29) Fix the Cubs

30) Start a fish fight club

31) Be one of those judges that holes up a number after a competition

32) Toll booth operator

33) Try to make musical farts

34) Make a Where’s Waldo book without putting Waldo in

35) Be the guy who changes Google homepage on those random weird holidays no one celebrates

36) Think of stupid names for jobs (ie. coffee girl= Barista?)

37) Professional Pokemon breeder

38) Create a fake Twitter account and pretend to be a celebrity

39) Blog (jk I’ve made 0 dollars)

40) Search Google maps for treasure

41) Hedgehog shampooer

42) Hack into the pentagon and change all their secret files to pictures of “grumpy cat”

43) Bobble head tester

44) Become paper football champion

45) Christmas light untangler

46) Spanish announcer for WWE (until someone gets put through your table)

47) Invent an easier way to order coffee

48) Develop psychic powers

49) Become a interpreter for the UN and translate things to fit your need

50) Raise a pair of lab mice whose desire is to take over the world

51) Stephen Hawking impersonator

52) Balloon animal artist

53) Be that guy who sits on the lifeguard chair at Tennis matches and does something (idk I don’t watch tennis)

54) Create a cult and gain followers to pay you

55) World class envelop licker

56) Freeze a manikin head in a bucket and sell tickets to people to see claiming its Walt Disney (or Ted Williams)

57)  Hack into the producers of Criminal Minds and Law and Order’s laptops and steal the endings to all their episodes and hold for ransom or you’ll spoil the ending on the internet

58) Parrot Whisperer

59) Invent a dance for people in wheelchairs

60) Sell some sort of narcotic. (Don’t really do this) ((or at least don’t tell them I said to do this)) (((just keep me out of it)))

61) Discover a way to make turnips not disgusting

62) Practice necromancy and revive celebrities from the dead for one night only performances in Vegas

63) Become an Elvis impersonator, but only the fat version when he died on the toilet eating a peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich.

64) Be Honey Boo Boo’s mom

65) Fart in a bag and sell on ebay as “bottled death”

66) Sign a bunch of baseballs and sell to small children claiming to be a made up old baseball hall of famer

67) Master the truffle shuffle

68) Be a mafia boss

69) Drink a lot of red bull until you develop wings or explode. Sue for false advertising