The first date is an amazing thing. So many thoughts and emotions flying through your head at once. All while trying not to look at the other ones boobs. A very difficult task. Some people will know right away if the person sitting across from them has the potential to be “the one.” On the other hand, it works the same when someone will know right away whether or not this is just a waste of time. To help avoid being in the negative category of first impressions, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t say on a first date.
1) What is the type and color of your underpants? Please explain why you chose that particular pair
2) Oh I don’t think I could ever move out of my parent’s house. I love my mommy too much.
3) Are you as big a One Direction fan as me?
4) Are you gonna eat all that? This ain’t free you know
5) Have you ever thought about porn? You’ve got the lips for it.
6) Pull my finger
7) You wore THAT for our date?
8) I was expecting more cleavage to be honest
9) Where would you like to go to dinner, McDonalds or Burger King? You get to pick
10) Could we fast forward to the part where our pants are off?
11) You look just like your father
12) Just throwing this out there ahead of time as a courtesy, I do have at least one STD currently
13) You’re a vegan? Yuck
14) Do you mind that I brought my parrot? He doesn’t like to be alone
15) I don’t believe in “showers”
16) I haven’t been on a date since ‘nam
17) Did you watch, “What not to wear,” last night? I forgot to tivo it
18) Would you mind if I make a pit stop? Gotta go buy some coke for later
19) Do you have a lower back tattoo? It’s kinda a deal breaker for me if you don’t
20) We can’t go too far away from my house or my ankle bracelet will go off
21) Smells like fish in here, if ya know what I mean
22) Can I borrow some lip gloss? I left mine at home
23) How open are you to a threesome?
24) Barak Obama, Martin Luther King Jr, Jackie Robinson. Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one, Go
25) Hey I just sent you a relationship request on facebook, can you go accept it?
26) I miss the old days when open racism wasn’t “frowned upon”
27) If I went to Hogwarts I’d be in Slytherin
28) I don’t believe in the moon
29) Scale of one to ten, how likely are we gonna bone tonight?
30) Would you mind spreading your legs a bit? The hidden camera under the table isn’t getting a good picture
31) This is my mother, you don’t mind that I brought her right?
32) Are you a cat or a large snake person?
33) I’m this close to finally graduating high school. 6th times the charm as they say
34) Wanna arm wrestle?
35) May I get a sample of your DNA?
36) Put this blindfold on and don’t ask questions
37) What’s the name of your gynecologist? Is it Steve? He’s a hack, trust me.
38) Have you ever been grave robbing?
39) If we were stranded on a desert island and I made you a coconut bra, would you wear it?
40) Hey I got a splinter earlier would you mind taking it out for me?
41) I disagree with your political beliefs and here is why you are stupid and wrong…
42) How much porn would you say you watch a day? I feel I’m way above average
43) Hang on a second my wife is calling
44) I carry around the ashes of my dead cat everywhere I go, please don’t mind the urn
45) I voted for Fantasia on American Idol
46) Me and my twin still sleep in the same bed, that’s not a problem is it?
47) Oh nuts I forgot my wallet, guess dinners on you then
48) I’m sorry I didn’t hear a word you said, I’m extremely high
49) Team Edward or Team Jacob?
50) Quick! A poisonous spider just bit my penis, please suck the venom out!
51) What year is this? I’ve been doing a lot of time travel recently and it all becomes one big blur
52) Check your phone I just sent you a dick pic
53) Fun fact about me, I have an extra appendage and I’ll let you figure out what it is later
54) Was Hitler really such a bad guy?
55) Could you read me the menu? I only read in Klingon
56) Just a heads up, I ate a lot of dairy today and I am super lactose intolerant
57) How do you feel about the death penalty
58) If I had xray vision right now I could totally see you naked
59) I’m a part time dentist and drag queen, what do you do?
60) Let’s see who can chug a bottle of tequila quicker, readysetgo!
61) Can I see a picture of what your mom looks like now? I wanna know what I’m signing up for
62) How fertile are you? I am extremely fertile
63) The movie Batman is loosely based upon my life
64) Wanna go streaking?
65) I have 6 children with 4 different women, how would you like to be lucky number 5?
66) I can’t stay out to late I have to check on my hoes in a little bit
67) Are those boobs real? My compliments to the chef
68) I have irritable bowel syndrome
69) May we have sex now?
Top Lists 